Tuesday, October 15, 2013

My Beautiful Nigger skin











I’ve been told many of times, I love your skin tone, I love how the red hue in your skin lifts up the brown and gives it this mahogany tone, a rich brown tone. The smoothness of my skin and the shine that it reflects when pampered. The dark murky muddy color it turn’s in the summer, the caramel brown it changes back to in the winter; my beautiful nigger skin. The same skin that has so much shine and gives off so much radiance is the same skin that receives so much hate and stereotype. So many mixed messages that this nation sends, racism is dead, get over slavery, you have a black president now, everything is ok; oh, your skin tone is ok it’s such a beautiful color but when there REALLY dark, it doesn’t look so great. The audacity, as if that makes it ok for you to say such a thing; if  I were to stay in the sun long enough, that mahogany will turn black; either way, it’s still insult. 



My beautiful Nigger skin will always be the first to approach, stay in your mind and remain. The relationships I build with some will never sub-consciously get past the skin tone. As I make an effort to not notice that fact, my race seems to come up, there is a constant reminder that I’m black. Well no shit, I look in the mirror every morning. This isn’t anger towards others, so if people I know read this, please do not take offense; it’s not your fault, society has played you that way. My skin tone is symbolic of crime and violence, being the “hip” guy and knowing what’s in the know, always has something funny to say (however I do like to make people laugh) but my skin is a stereotype as are others, but the issue is, I seem to never bring up your skin tone or race, why does my race have to be the choice of topic? My beautiful nigger skin, I wouldn’t trade it for the world; I might want to trade the history that comes with it but with the color comes a rich history. Nigger, most may find the word offensive. And I know why, I apologize ahead of time; however, it’s a word that has turned me into a phoenix (also a college graduate). My beautiful Nigger skin get’s rejected on interviews, attracts cops, receives compliments, yet get’s judged, it doesn’t wrinkle, but it receives dislike, maybe because people of my skin tone can act a fool, but fool’s don’t come in color you fool, fools are people; some fools come in my color people so I’m classified as a fool, labeled as dumb even being educated were all labeled as one. 



When we scream racism it’s not because we pull the race card, for some it is. The thought that’s its still alive, I understand can be a major noodle scratcher, the thought that my skin tone is still a trigger of hate in some places, amongst families is almost a parody. The thought that people still have this hate for one another, the thought that some blacks have a hate for white, as it’s called, reverse racism; it’s not reversed, reverse meaning going the other way, meaning you had a hate for black people; the hate is only going one way in two directions, back and forth.  Oh I love how we, the black community can split and fight amongst each other, but come together, yet single out the one we called “washed”. I love how we can’t seem to get to the next step because of the “man” and I love how the “man” knows that, and uses it as a missile and will tell us, “that’s nonsense, there is no man, racism is dead” but let’s Zimmerman walk.

            I love how the man will play two faced. Kind of like how a black butler had to have only two faces as a servant; who do you trust? My beautiful nigger skin get’s ignored in other parts of the world; the acknowledgement of its tone and that’s where it stops. America is trending green and mimicking other nations yet we still hold on to the negative aspects of this nation. When does it stop? When will it simmer? Are we scared to move forward? Or are we a nation torn apart? Slowly, but surely, we wind down this path and mimic the Roman’s. America don’t fall, stand up, rise like the south but let those in the south ignorance fall, let this country become and embrace the change, for once let my skin be beautiful without the name, let my heritage shine, let me be, let me converse and not think that, let me talk with you and not think I, let me sit on your couch and not wonder if, let me walk to the store and not wonder if, let me eat my skittles, let me eat fried chicken and watermelon in peace got damn it!!! Lol…I really did laugh…because it figures I would want to eat watermelon and fried chicken, oh the stereo type of my beautiful nigger skin. The uproar of the word is the down play of my IQ. 






My masta said I should gets a masta. Why yes sir I’m phina gets me some smarts whena masta see me he gon’ go for me! Whew! I tells you, I loves me schoolin hope my masta knows that! I’s dun wit dis jig. Des folks, I tells ya, whew I tells ya now. Watch out for me. I have an education and I just hope the best for my children. One day, in my dreams, I hope to see all of us, in this nation accept that lingo, the Ebonics, the so called “slave” talk, how could it be slave talk; it was African’s speaking with an accent, the same as any other race that came here on a boat, plane or car, it was an accent, yet it was looked at as stupidity. It’s hard to see because America is such a young nation that we don’t see black Americans as Immigrants; we are immigrants just been “hanging” around here for a while and we actually have been in America for a while as well. My beautiful n****r skin….





      

4 comments:

  1. I found this story to be touching. I don't say that because I'm white, I don't say that because I am trying to tell you I understand your fight (because it is impossible for me to), and I don't say it because I am trying to get on your "good" side. Your story touches me personally because, eventhough I read similar articles that don't, I am from the south, I am from a place that treats people who are not white like they are beneath them, that they should be serving them, and I fight this as much as I can. Personally, I don't care what your color is because your color means squat to me. I don't care of your status in our society either. I do care that you recognize that racism is alive and well and I hope that you understand it is kept alive by both the black and white races in society.

    I can only speak for myself when I say that I think the world would be different without racism, but it wouldn't, because a person would be persecuted for other reasons as they are now. I think as long as we continue to raise our children not to hate one another just based on race alone that this is a good start in the right direction.

    Thank you for sharing your post with me my friend.

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  2. SS thank you for reading...I know racism is alive on both sides, black and white. I appreciate that you showed your kids in the right path because your story easily could of lead you down that road; just as my story could have lead me down that path as well. My grandfather was born 1898 if I'm correct down in Louisiana; he was a fair skin man with red hair and green eyes. My mom told me had a hate for white people. My mom when she was a kid went up to grandfather and said, daddy, why do you hate white people? You look like one." My mom said granddad looked at her with so much furry and told her, " go somewhere that nonsense." She said just walked away. Lol...because of that, we don't know much about my grandfather....however my family did come to this conclusion: keep an open mind about people. We don't care about the color of your skin, we care about who you are; if your a good person. Because of that SS my family looks like the show modern family. LOL

    Your all good in my book SS. I'm glad you came by my friend.

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  3. Great post. I live in The Bahamas; were're mostly decendents of English slaves out here. I feel you 100% on the language topic.

    In school, we're taught that our dialect and patois are ignorant--straight up yo! lol. I myself, have developed a very strong command of the 'english' language over the years that cause many of my country men to assume that I'm from some other place in the world! But at the core of it, I think that our slave language is beautiful. I believe that it's something that we should own more affirmatively. Speaking 'proper' english is neccessary and acceptable to deminish communication boundaries of course. But to me, to speak 'black' is to black people; as to speak French (or any other language) is to French people.

    Great story!

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  4. Thank you for commenting Neavada Dames! =) You know what's funny, I was reading about the language and slang terms that most slaves used because I thought it was odd that it was seen as illiterate. In America, there's a lot of people who pronounce English words a certain way and it's due to their background and culture today, it's seen as an accent, not illiterate. I don't know the alphabet amongst different countries in Africa but I'm sure e is not pronounced like e in English which could lead to the way we use to speak. I think proper English is needed in everyday life but I don't think the way slaves use to talk should be seen as something negative; it should be embraced, it was actually are only link of maybe knowing where we came from...besides doing a genealogy test. lol Thank you for commenting! =)

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