All I am is in love

I made my bed so its time
to sleep, reap what I sow
because deep down I know
I fucked up to a point I pissed
you off,  you possibly hate me for even
thinking to negate you, flaunting
in front of other women like I quickly
dropped you and replaced you but deep
down, I knew I couldn't step between you and
him, I believe in karma and fate, so what would
happen if I were the final decision that made you two break?
It's possible the same outcome would've fallen upon us,
and to see that happen, I would rather see you with another man
then leave me for another man because time may have wore,
left you and I sore, and I don't think my heart could take that
abuse from such pretty eyes and a pretty mind....

I pushed you away and you thought it was play

 something I knew if I continued

Would land both of us in a fucked place but instead it landed

Me with this fucked face, this slightly crushed heart,

Just in love but no participant, just wet eyes
and a bag of french fries, sounds funny and it kind of is
but I felt the dagger, I felt the distance, everything I meditated
for and wished for before bed was gone with the gush
of the wind, the change of the tides, I long for your kiss now
all I can do is imagine your touch, imagine what it would've been 
like to go out in my neck of the woods, take you to the city
and sweep you off your feet, go to art galleries and museums, 
drink a little, maybe drive up the coast and watch the sunset on
pch, listen to the waves crash against the mountains and fall asleep
under the stars, nothing sexual, just someone to hold, someone to
romance...

I guess All I am is in love, with no opposite,
maybe I'm in love with the thought of being in
love with you, or maybe I'm in love with you and I
don't know how to speak, what I did wasn't the best
but I know in my mind I let fate play its role, even 
though I feel fucked in the long run...actions speak louder
then words is not always the case, sometimes actions lie,
and sometimes words aren't strong enough to display the 
emotion that one is concealing, especially since I still hold feelings for
someone who, in some odd sense, I'm over....I don't know, but
I know I'm in love with you, you're in hate with me but I still love you, if I were
to die today, I'd romance you're future just so your present would be happy..I don't
know how that would work....but I'd figure it out. lol Anyways, I'll give it a shot
in our next life time...